October 1, 2018

Eliminating Can't

Eliminating can’t from your vocabulary isn’t easy, learn to shift your mindset and experience freedom in three straightforward steps.

Elizabeth walking

I always say “can’t”. I can’t come to that party. I can’t meet you for coffee. I can’t do that. I can’t eat that.

Why do I use that word?

I don’t think I’m alone in saying the word “can’t” all the time. I hear it from other people. When talking about daily prayer, people say “I can’t pray that much” or when I mention my plant-based diet, some say “I can’t do that, I’d miss all the good food”.  I usually reply: “Of course you can”.

But is it that simple? Just replace “can’t” with “can”, and everything is solved?

Probably not.

Can’t is more than just a word, it’s a mentality.

I think that when we say can’t, we don’t mean that we are physically unable to do something. I think we mean that we are mentally unwilling to do it.

We are mentally unwilling to move our schedule around in order to meet our friend for coffee. Or we are mentally unwilling to change our diet or fitness routine to create a healthier lifestyle. Or we choose not to spend time in prayer because we think we need to be doing other things.

Can’t is about unwillingness to do something that may actually be good for us.

So, how do we change unwillingness? (And therefore practice eliminating can’t.)

Step 1: Turn to God

The first step here, as in all situations, is to look to God for guidance.

A classic bible verse says: “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

This verse alone may not change our unwillingness, but it can get us started on the path to altering our thinking. In recognizing that we actually can do all things, we can start to take down the mental barriers we’ve put up.

We CAN do anything. Let’s shift our mindsets to understand that even though we may not want to do something, through God, we most definitely can.

Elizabeth praying rosary

Step 2: Ask Why?

Now that we know that we CAN do anything. We need to figure out why we WON’T do something. To address the root of the issue, we need to ask ourselves why?

Let’s consider the example I mentioned earlier about meeting a friend for coffee. Why won’t I do that?

Well, because of my school work (or work work, or kids schedules, or [insert source of busyness]), I don’t think I have time to meet my friend.

So it’s not that I can’t meet my friend, it’s that I don’t think I have time.

Or the example about eating a plant-based diet. Why won’t I do that?

Well I would have to stop eating all the foods that I like to eat and plant-foods are bland and tasteless.

So it’s not that I can’t eat a plant-based diet, it’s that I don’t think that the food would taste good.

Step 3: Challenge the Thought

Did you notice that in my answers to the Why question, I said that I think the outcome will be a certain way? I don’t actually know what will happen. Especially when saying “can’t”, we really don’t give ourselves the chance to think through what will actually happen.

So let’s challenge the thought.

What if I actually can find an extra 30 minutes to meet my friend for coffee? Or what if I do try a plant-based meal and it tastes good?

Poof! Can’t = gone.

Moving forward…

By eliminating can’t from our thought process, we are graced by the gift of freedom. Let’s use our freedom to do more and be more than we were before. To say yes to things we’re afraid to say yes to. And to live with reckless abandon.

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