Cultivating Self-Love

We all have this inherent sense of self-love. Some people have more or less, but to some degree, we all know that we should love ourselves. We were designed to love ourselves. If not, how would we survive?

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If we don’t love ourselves, we start to deteriorate in both mind and body, leading to our destruction and downfall. That sounds all dramatic and scary. Does this actually happen? Why should we work on cultivating self-love? And what can we do on a daily basis to treat ourselves right?

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Without Self-Love

The short answer to the first question is yes. Deterioration from lack of self-love does actually happen.

This deterioration can come in many forms: sadness, loss of interest in life activities, feelings of defeat, lack of care for the body and health, turning away from God, and more.

You’ve probably experienced some of these. Maybe maybe it was just for a day or maybe it stretched over a longer period of time. Maybe it’s happening now.

Clearly, none of the experiences I described are good or enjoyable. But that’s part of life, right? We go through periods where things aren’t as good as they could be. So should we just sit and let it pass? I am not a doctor, and therefore don’t have a professional medical diagnosis, but I think the answer is no. Even when we don’t feel like loving ourselves, there’s something greater in our lives than our own feelings and actions toward ourselves.

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Jesus

Not only should we love God, our father in heaven, but Jesus, the Son of God who lives in us. This idea of Jesus living in us is not just a metaphor. In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis explains that

“Christ is actually operating through [us]; that the whole mass of Christians are the physical organism through which Christ acts — that we are His fingers and muscles, the cells of His body.” (Lewis p. 64)

When we understand this perspective, not simply acknowledging that Jesus is in us, but functionally recognizing in daily life that our thoughts and actions are a part of Christ Himself, we can shift the way we think of ourselves. You are not just you, I am not just me. We are all, collectively, a physical part of Jesus.

What does this mean for cultivating self-love?

Since we are all physically Jesus, we should treat ourselves like we are physically Jesus. Would you care for Jesus if He was here in the flesh? If He was feeling down, would grab a cup of coffee with Him and talk through it? Would you help Him work through His struggles? Would you love Him?

Of course you would.

But this is more than a ‘what if’ scenario. Jesus is here in the flesh. You are his flesh.

With this perspective in mind, we can change how we love ourselves. If we feel defeated or sad or lost or scared we can remind ourselves that we are Jesus’ flesh. When we notice that we aren’t treating ourselves right, when we aren’t caring for our bodies, when we eat food that we know isn’t good for us, when we spend the day on our phones instead of in the moment, we can remember that what we are doing to ourselves, we are doing to Jesus.

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How can we practice cultivating self-love in our daily lives?

Start with recognition. Understand that you are a part of Jesus.

Then, ask yourself how you would treat Jesus in the flesh.

Notice when you think about yourself or act toward yourself in a way that you wouldn’t with Jesus.

Cultivating self-love won’t necessarily come naturally, especially when we have habits ingrained in our bodies and minds. But we should all understand the importance of cultivating self-love and its implications in our lives.

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